If you ask most people what a sexual assault is, they'll probably tell you it's what happens when a stranger forces you to have sex by using physical violence. But you know what? Sexual assault isn't limited to sexual intercourse - and it actually includes any psychological or emotional manipulation or threats which pressures someone into sex, as well as any form of unwanted touching. The worst part is, in most cases, sexual assault is committed by someone you know well. Even someone you love.

It gets confusing because some guys think that they have the right to expect sex from a girl, especially if she has been friendly or has already agreed to some form of sexual contact, like kissing or touching. But that's a dangerous assumption.

Just because you've had some sexual contact, doesn't mean that you automatically have the right to more.

Here are a few simple things you can do:

• If you're not sure how your date is feeling about having sex, ask her.
• If the response you get isn't clear, don't go any further.
• Be aware of your own body language and behaviour - sometimes we can be intimidating without realizing it.
• Keep in mind that drugs and alcohol can cloud your judgement.
• Challenge other people when you hear them making sexist jokes and comments that demean women.

Most guys are NOT abusive and don't support abusive behaviour. So how can you help avoid sexual assault and work to bring an end to violence against women? Know that you are not alone. There are men across Canada who are actively working to end violence against women. Organizations like the White Ribbon Campaign can support you in your efforts to fight sexism, discrimination and disrespect towards women.

Are You a Victim of Sexual Violence? There's Help for Guys Too...
Whether you're male or female, sexual assault isn't easy to talk about. Especially if it has happened to you. For guys, even acknowledging that you have been a victim is hard, because you've probably been brought up to believe that men should be proud, strong, and always in control. But if someone threatened, forced, or manipulated you into doing something you didn't want to do, it doesn't mean you're weak or that you could have stopped it if you were "more of a man". An abuser takes away your choices. That means, whatever happened to you, it was not your fault.

Sexual violence can make you feel very isolated, so it really helps if you can talk about it with someone. There are plenty of guys out there who have gone through the same kind of stuff that you're going through. And they're starting to speak up about it.

If you're not sure who to turn to, here are some agencies that can help:

Kids Help Phone
1-800-668-6868
24-hour, seven-day-a-week counselling service for young people. The service is available across Canada for a variety of issues including sexual assault and other violence.

The Men's Project
Provides crisis intervention, as well as individual and group counselling services on a range of men's issues, including support for male survivors of sexual abuse in Eastern Ontario.

Services for Youth

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