YOUth Space

Harassment Is No Joke

Sexual Harassment. It’s not a joke. It’s not harmless fun.

Sexual harassment is unwanted, uninvited sexual attention. It can involve remarks, gestures or actions. It can make you embarrassed, offended, intimidated or unsafe.

• What Is Sexual Harassment?
• Sexual Harassment and the Law
• What's The Harm?
• Girls Speak Out About Sexual Harassment
• What To Do If You’re Being Harassed
• What Should I Say To The Harasser?
• Let’s Put A Stop To It!

 

Sexual harassment can take many forms, including:

• Unwanted physical contact like touching and grabbing
• Rude jokes or suggestive remarks
• Leering or inappropriate staring
• Cat calls, embarrassing whistles or similar sounds
• Insulting remarks about sexual orientation
• Names written on walls or desks ("For a good time, call …")
• Displays of sexually offensive pictures, pornography or graffiti
• Using the word “girl” or “woman” as a put-down (for example, “you run like a girl”)
• Stalking

Sexual harassment is not:

• A hug between friends
• Mutual flirtation that feels good for both people
• Sincere compliments

Sexual harassment is prohibited by the Ontario Human Rights Code and the Canadian Human Rights Act

"Every person has the right to equal treatment with respect to services, goods and facilities, without discrimination because of race, ancestry, place of origin, ethnic origin, citizenship, creed, sex, sexual orientation, age, marital status, family status or handicap."

"Discrimination based on se x includes what is commonly referred to as sexual harassment or inappropriate comments and actions of a sexual nature."
The Ontario Human Rights Commission

Freedom from sexual harassment is a fundamental human right in Ontario

Sexual harassment is widespread in Ontario.

In a survey of Ontario high school students:

• Eight out of 10 female students said they had been sexually harassed at school.
• Victims of sexual harassment revealed that the harassment had a dramatic effect on their lives. They experienced fear, loss of self-esteem, concern for their personal safety, intimidation, anger, isolation and mistrust of the opposite sex.
• The majority of male students surveyed seemed to take the topic much less seriously, particularly when discussing being harassed by a female.
• Male students who had been harassed by other males tended to take the issue more seriously.
• Three out of 10 male high school students surveyed said that they were afraid of being sexually harassed.

Source: “The Joke’s Over – Student to Student Sexual Harassment in Secondary Schools”, published by The Ontario Women’s Directorate, The Ontario Secondary School Teachers Federation and the Ministry of Education, (1995).

"I was standing to answer a question when the guy behind me put his hand on my leg and started to move it up under my skirt. I turned and swore at him. I got suspended and he got a talking to."

Natalie

"If you want to compliment me, say 'hi' or introduce yourself. Whistling or rating does not turn me on."

Chandra

"Teachers are people you can trust. If a teacher didn't interrupt sexual harassment, I don't think I could learn from that person anymore."

Jeanette

"If I put up my hand, will the guy behind me make comments? Harassment cuts down on your self-esteem and that shows in your marks and everything you do."

Paloma

Source: “The Joke’s Over – Student to Student Sexual Harassment in Secondary Schools”, published by The Ontario Women’s Directorate, The Ontario Secondary School Teachers Federation and the Ministry of Education, (1995).

Don't blame yourself for the sexual harassment. It’s not your fault. You are not responsible for the harasser's behaviour.

There are steps you can take to make it stop. Do not ignore it. It probably won’t go away. People who have been sexually harassed report that it often gets worse.

What Do I Do?

Talk to someone, like a friend or co-worker who you trust. You might feel confused or worry that you are making a big deal out of nothing. You might be angry. It helps to talk about your feelings, and can help you decide what to do next.

Get information. You need to know your rights and your options for action. Find out if your school or workplace has a policy on sexual harassment. The more you know, the better you will be able to deal with the situation.

• Write a detailed description of the incident or incidents. Include the following information:
• What happened
• Where it happened
• When it happened (list all dates and times)
• Who did the harassing
• Witnesses, if any
• What you did in return
• How the harasser acted in response
• How you felt
• What effects it has had on your life

Who Do I Tell?

You can talk with a parent, relative or an adult you trust. If it happens at school, you could speak to a teacher, guidance counsellor, vice-principal or principal. If it happens at work, you can speak to your supervisor or manager.

Remember – it is not your responsibility alone to make the harassment stop.

The Ontario Human Rights Code and Canadian Human Rights Act clearly state that others are responsible for taking action too. Teachers and principals are responsible if harassment happens in their classroom or school, or anywhere school-related activities are taking place. Employers are responsible if it happens in their workplace or wherever their employees do work-related activities. People who provide services or rental accommodation are responsible if it occurs on their property.

Speaking clearly to the harasser right away about your objections may be enough. He may stop the offensive behaviour.

Take someone with you when you talk with the harasser. Afterwards, he won’t be able to say he didn't know he was bothering you. You will have a witness.

Think carefully about what you want to say. Be specific. You don’t need to explain why you object to his behaviour. Do not give him the chance to embarrass you by asking for more details than you want to talk about. Simply repeat that you object to his behaviour and want him to stop.

Speak calmly to the harasser. Give him a chance to understand and change his behaviour.
Here are some suggestions:

"Sure I can take a joke. What I won't take is harassment. If you don't know the difference, I'll be happy to recommend some reading material."

"It makes me uncomfortable when you look at me that way. I am not questioning your intentions, but I am asking you not to do it again."

"I have told you before that I don't want to go out with you. I’m uncomfortable when you ask me out on dates. If you don't stop, I’ll have to talk to (someone higher up –the teacher, principal, boss, owner)."

"If you touch me that way again, I'll report you so fast.”

Why Am I Being Harassed?

Harassment can be confusing. You may wonder why the harasser is
acting this way.

He might be angry because you are assertive or question his way of doing things.

Knowing that his behaviour bothers you might make him feel powerful.

But:

• He might not think he is harassing you.
• He may be doing it because he thinks it will make his friends laugh.
• He might be very surprised to learn that you consider what he is doing harassment.
• He might not mean to harm you. He may be treating you the way he has learned to treat women.
• He might feel he has the right to behave this way with you.
• He might not think his actions have an impact on you.

No matter what he thinks he is doing, harassment is wrong. You have the right to live free from sexual harassment.

Sexual harassment is a widespread problem. But there are steps we can take to eliminate sexual harassment in our schools and workplaces.

The most effective way to prevent sexual harassment is to ask teachers, principals, employers and peers to take sexual harassment seriously and act quickly to stop it.

Here are things you can do:

• Find out if there is a sexual harassment policy at your school or workplace and make others aware of it.
• If there is no policy in place, speak to your school principal or manager at work about the importance of creating a safe environment and the need for a sexual harassment policy.
• Launch an education and awareness campaign. Invite a guest speaker to your class, provide information resources or put up posters telling people where they can get help if they feel they are being harassed.

Sexual harassment is a serious issue. It won’t stop unless we take it seriously.